Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Am I cut out for this?

Yesterday I seriously considered finding a job and hiring a nanny. It was one of those days that made me start wondering if I would be a better mother if I was away from my kids more often.

I was up several times with the baby in the night. Then the day started at 5:00am when Evan woke up. An hour later, Shawn was awake. Evan is usually a very happy and sleepy baby. Yesterday was one of his days where he was just as tired as usual, but didn't want to sleep. I spent the whole day trying to get him to sleep......him sleeping for 10 minutes.......waking up.....starting again. By 1:00 in the afternoon I was frazzled and needed a nap.

I put Shawn in his room for a nap (which only works 1/2 the time). I could get the baby to sleep if I was nursing him in our bed. However, Shawn kept coming in my room needing different things and not sleeping. In his attempt to whisper he would wake up the baby again. One of his requests was water so I told him to just take the water that was on my nightstand so I wouldn't have to get up. Ten minutes later he came back to my room, naked, holding his clothes that were soaking wet from the water. I helped him get dressed and put his sheets and pillow in the dryer. Then I lock his door so he can't get out. I figured I could let him just play in his room for 20 minutes while I at least got a nap. Within a few minutes he is pounding on his door. I ignore this for about 5 minutes, then give up and decide that a nap isn't going to work. I go to get Shawn out of his room and when I open the door I am greeted with the overwhelming stench of poo. Shawn was wearing loose shorts and had a huge poo diaper that just couldn't hold it all in. There was poo on his bed (which didn't have sheets) all over the carpet, on a book on the floor, and on his hand. As I was changing his diaper Shawn kept telling me, "it's okay Mommy, I will just take a bath and then be all clean." I cleaned up the room, gave Shawn a bath, picked up my screaming baby, and wondered if I was cut out for being a mom.

After a couple hours when the kids had calmed down and were happy and I felt not as stressed, I looked at their cute little faces and it reminded me that there is no job in the world that I would rather have then being home with my sweet little boys.....poo and all.
Shawn proudly showing me his "name"
Shawn wanted a picture of his toes with Evan's toes
Evan's first time roasting marshmallows up the canyon



Thanks Honey for always being willing to help with the kids and with cleaning up the house right when you get home from work. I also want to thank you for letting me run away to the store when I need a break. Love you!

3 comments:

Amy F. said...

You're a great mom Heath! Those early weeks are always quite the adventure! Hang in there, it will settle down soon. :)

Ashley Smith said...

Ahhhh, sweet mommy moments. I would like to say it gets better but I think it just changes into other things such as baby crying turns into toddler tantrums into meltdowns into eye rolling and pouting into yelling and slamming door into really annoying ignoring...I'm only up to age 6 but I think you get the picture. Oh, how about this one! Blowouts into changing own diaper into hiding dirty underwear into never changing underwear. Ha, Ha!
It's all fun and games (this is what I tell myself) and I always just laugh about it(or else I will scream). I'm sure your doing great because you are an amazing person! And those little sweet faces really do make it all worth while.

klap said...

AHHH! Don't scare me like that...it's too late to change our minds! ;)
It's comforting to know that despite all the craziness there is always the happy ending that follows...